Humour

Aggressive Anti-Bullying Policies Lead to Inverse Hazing and Submissive Seniors

By Dylan Tulett On February 24th, 2016, Dave Fitzpatrick, Dean of Students at Royal St George’s College (RSGC), announced three of the school’s most recent anti-bullying policies that have been set in place in an attempt to maximize upperclassmen empathy and minimize underclassmen casualties. One of the new policies states that “if any underclassman is … Continue reading

Humour

O.P.P. Holds D.A.F.T. Press Conference

By Scott Bowlby Huntsville, Ont. After a fifth consecutive fire-free summer, cottage country O.P.P. detachments, in coordination with local fire departments, have created a Direct Action Fire Team (D.A.F.T.). O.P.P. spokesman Curtis Berndt announced the creation of the unit before an impressive backdrop of new-model Dodge Charger interceptors, glittering with customized D.A.F.T. paint decals. After … Continue reading