Humour

Film Studies Student Outraged at Lack of Homework

Student Dominic Hanna can't stand watching Netfilx all day.

Student Dominic Hanna can’t stand watching Netfilx all day.

By Joey McMeans, Fierce Supporter of Popular Opinions

On February 23, 2016, grade 12 student and member of the Film Studies course at RSGC, Ross Hill spoke out against the lack of homework he has received throughout his time in the course.

“It’s simply unacceptable,” said Hill. “Speaking frankly, I expected more from this course. Every night when I arrive home, I find myself swamped by the sheer amount of free time I have. There’s just not enough to do! You can only spend so much time watching Netflix before you simply can’t stand it anymore. I don’t know how everyone else can do it.”

Hill has decided to take matters into his own hands concerning the homework issue that he claims is plaguing the course.

“I’ve talked to Dr. Evans, and she has given me total control over the class’s Haiku page. To make up for lost time, I’m assigning homework due every day, not just the days that we meet for class. If a student fails to complete their homework on time, I plan to remove 20% from their next homework assignment that they complete. This forces my classmates to be committed and dedicated to their work. They won’t get off so easy anymore. Not now that I’m here.”

Hill’s initiative has gained significant popularity around the school. Other courses too have joined up with Hill’s rebellion, like Dr. Evans’ grade 12 Writer’s Craft and her grade 11 English. Grade 12 Dominic Hanna, author of the heartrending tour de force “Smart Phones, Dumb People,” spoke about how he felt about this new policy and how he will implement it in his Writer’s Craft class.

“I’ve always admired Mr. Hill. His new campaign has really cemented that admiration. Too often I’ve felt that I have just had too much spare time to complete my rough drafts. Now, under his strict control, I’ll have these pitiful students whipped into shape. Especially that little rascal Joey McMeans.”

Dr. Evans, Head of English at RSGC, feels that this new homework policy is a little too extreme for her tastes. She is leading the counter offensive against what she calls “Hill’s tyrannical new regime.”

“He’s gone too far this time. I assumed he would be reasonable when I gave him control, but it’s clear the power has gone to his head. This insanity must come to an end. I’ve always felt I’ve given just enough homework to my students, and never too much. This blatant show of subordination needs to come to an end.”

When asked why she then handed over control of the Haiku to the students, she had this to say: “It’s hard to say no to a bully. I’ve bumped the issue up to Mr. Fitzpatrick and Mr. Beatty and hopefully they can put an end to Hill’s reign of terror.”

Whether the school’s administration can do anything to help is still up in the air, and more and more students join Hill’s cause everyday. Hill predicts that by the end of week, the majority of the student body will have sided with him.

“This is a revolution, and we will stop at nothing, nothing until we are finally rid, once and for all, of our free time!”

 

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